Every drop of blood shed was a memory. A memory of what something could have been. A memory of a futureless manifestation.  You have never been stabbed, yet you can relate to the pain, and the vulnerabilities it carries along with it. You say its worse. Is it ? The process can continue only when you allow it. Don’t keep scratching the scab, beneath it is just your unhealed wounds.  Be vunerable for once if you have to be. For it’s not just a memory. It was an experience to live by. Move past it. Conquer!